Health, Safety, & Emergencies

Most websites seem to use the Global Peace Index (GPI) as a proxy for country safety. Of the 163 countries tracked, Afghanistan is worst and Iceland is best. 

As of 2023, Portugal ranks #7, after Denmark (2), Ireland (3), New Zealand (4), Austria (5), and Singapore (6). Rounding out the top ten are Slovenia (8), Japan (9), and Switzerland (10).

The USA ranks with Brazil, South Africa, and Haiti. Not so good. 

Numbeo is a website that aggregates city data on cost of living and quality of life factors. Here are their "Crime Index" rankings for various cities: Caracas, Venezuela is the worst in the world, and Abu Dhabi is best. Baltimore is the worst in the US and Salt Lake City is best. Marseille France is the worst in Europe and Bern Switzerland is best.

Lisbon ranks as very safe, safer than the safest US city, Salt Lake City. 

Both Minneapolis and Lisbon have around 3 million people in their metropolitan areas, but Lisbon's crime index is half of Minneapolis'.

Portugal's overall population, at around 10.2 million people, is similar to North Carolina's 10.8 million. The long rectangular shape of North Carolina is kind of similar to Portugal's, if you laid one of it's side or stood the other one up. Lisbon and Raleigh are the respective capitals. And their Crime Indexes are similar. So, if you were planning a trip to Raleigh but first went to REI to buy a money belt, you might want to do the same for Lisbon. And look like a total doofus as you dig into it to find a euro to pay for a coffee.

All that said, read about what crime there is in Portugal here.

Lastly, I talked to some guy recently who said he'd been to Oktoberfest in Munich, but had not gone into a beer tent to drink beer. Now THAT sounds like a crime to me...

Every guidebook, every blogger, even signs on the tram itself warn you to be aware of pickpockets on the Number 28 Tram.

So I suppose you should. I remember my dad telling me at the Minnesota State Fair to put my wallet in my front pocket and hold my hand over it, which I'm sure was good advice to thwart all the pickpockets after the $4 in a 6-year-old's wallet. But I still do it, anytime we approach a crowd, like muscle memory.

But there's a much better reason to avoid the #28 Tram: it is always so crowded you can never get a seat. Like all trams it jerks all over the place, and standing in it is like an involuntary slam dance, without the happy punk music. And, after all the hills in Lisbon you're going to want to sit down whenever you can, especially when there is so much cool stuff to watch outside the windows.

Lisbon sports a number of these old time trams, so avoid the #28 and take one of the others!

The real danger here are the sidewalks. They're made of a kind of small rock, hand-hammered into place by a city crew of artisans, and sand-grouted together like a mosaic. They're called "calçadas" (call-SAH-dash) and they're super beautiful, but have pieces missing here and there all over the place, creating ankle-twisting chuckholes, and when wet, unbelievably slippery.

So bring your most grippy shoes, walk arm-in-arm, and keep a watchful eye for pieces of litter, a wet leaf, or worst of all, dogshit. I'd rather traverse an avenue of overripe banana peels in a Three Stooges movie that walk downhill on calçadas in the rain.